Written Wednesday, October 7th and published 9th, 2020
I began to share my story yesterday to tell you all from the beginning how I got here, then I forgot to save it, so when it’s God’s will I’ll finish that. Right now I’m so full. “My cup runneth over” and I need to share this. It feels like something I read once: “His word was in my heart like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back, and I could not.” It might be too much for some, but to us that lived it, it’s all we’ve known till we met Jesus. It involves the death of parents, abandonment and the rejection any orphan feels no matter if they have another foster family or not. Everything I share is my own experience, my life. I couldn’t or wouldn’t tell the story if I hadn’t lived it, so then comes with all this beating, rapes, and child molestation. It’s a word no one wants you to say out loud.
So this morning something miraculous happened, but it does every time we open the Word of God because it “is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”
This morning I began to worship. I pulled up a song from Youtube, “Welcome Holy Spirit” then went into prayer, and confession. Immediately I was telling Jesus how angry I was, am. I got so angry I said “You said ‘I sit in a high and holy place’ so how can you know what it feels like to be raped, to know what happened to all these children’?” I was on the floor for a while crying to Him, for the children’s healing, and protection. I got up and went to 2 Corinthians 5. This word kept jumping out at me “reconciliation” vs 18, “reconciling” vs 19, “reconciliation” vs 19, “reconciled” vs 20. When I got to v 21 “For He made Him who knew no sin…” I got a picture of Jesus’ sinlessness, His innocence, His Holiness. He knew no sin!
“Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise Him; He has put Him to grief. When You make His soul an offering for sin, He shall see His seed, He shall prolong His days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in His hand.“
I saw it. “HE KNEW.” He, the Father, watched His own begotten son, His beloved, sinless son, betrayed, abandoned, rejected by his own people. Even his own brothers mocked him, then He was spit upon, beaten, killed. I fell to my knees in tears. I cried all morning, thanking Jesus. And John 3:16 came alive.
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”
“Prolong” – is paradoxical in light of the servant’s death. It is an obvious reference to Christ’s resurrection.
“His seed” -are His redeemed
“All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Cor 5:18-21
Now this is Good News! “God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself.” 2 Corinthians 4:18
This is a picture of 4 of my children (Amber, Catherine, Kwsind, Nokomis), and the one grandson (Tristen), 20 years later. On June 19 this year we went to , the house that we all used to live in the year we last saw each other in 2000. It was in Rapid City, South Dakota. Wow! Glory to God! He did it all! And that’s the Savior I want our people to know. He loves us, He cares for us, we all matter.